Friday, 12 August 2016

It Doesn't Make Any 'Census' to Me!

Will their be a Test on it Later?

This Tuesday 9th August was Census night here in Australia. 

The official  'Counting of the People'  to find out what jobs we did, how many kids we might have made since the last tot-up, the religion with which we devoted ourselves to and with what language we prefered to do it all in.

This year was different though because THIS year – we could do it online!

And so we dutifully logged onto our computers after a hard day at work, as per instruction, only to watch in frustration... shock... horror... and disbelief as the entire Census website crashed into a million pieces shattering itself all over our lounge room floors.


Elderly opting for hardcopy on Census night
It seemed like such a good idea at the time...

Rumours of 'hackers' infiltrating from overseas were bandied about, or (depending on who you asked)... that the system was shut down on purpose by the Statistics people - for security reasons to 'protect the data' don't you know. 

But then the PM hopped on board saying how smoothly it was all going and how he filled in his Census in a matter of minutes, it was that darn easy peay.   

Whatever the truth behind the debacle of Tuesday night (and do we really care?), I found it interesting to note that the majority of my elderly clients had no inkling of all the technological fuss and bother we'd just experienced – BECAUSE THEY DID THEIRS ON PAPER!

Oblivious to all the IT angst we younger folk had been suckered into, the Mature-Ager instead, if he or she so desired, got to ring up and order a hard copy be sent to them in the post. Meaning they could settle in and complete their Census paperwork at the kitchen table with only a working ball-point pen and hot cup of tea to worry about.

A nice mint slice too, for the really Census-ly committed.

In fact I've been visiting my client's homes all week to find many of them still in Censussing mode.  Squeezing in a tick here, a tick there...between a trip to the shops or a scheduled doctor appointment... then back to it they go, biro in hand...tickety, tick, TICK.  

Because for some of my elderly Beloveds, it's a thrill just to have a small bit of purpose thrust into their fairly low-key lives.  And by limiting themselves to only the one page of tantalising ticking a day, the truly Census-savvy can stretch out the excitement for at least a fortnight!

Amusing too, is the accompanying commentary they share with me.  Reminds me how witty these playful Pensioners with their wry senses of humour, can actually be when they try:

“Gee, I had to think hard about some of these questions, Dollie. Makes you wonder how all the stupid people get on?”

“If not enough of us tick 'Christian', do you think they will end up cancelling Christmas?”

"Fictional nonsense, this Census business.  I've bought my mother back alive twice over the last 20 years of doing this rubbish - and they haven't picked me up on it!"

“Better get on with my 'homework' then, Dollie. I feel like I'm back at school! Do you think there will be a test on it later?”

“Charlie always loved a good Census... said it made him feel 'Australian'! I toyed with including him in the numbers, I mean... they aren't to know he's sitting in an urn on the mantelpiece, are they?”

“Census? More like 'Senseless' if you ask me!”

Needless to say, we here at my house are still poised waiting to launch Operation Census Online. Luckily, they have informed us on the telly that we have until mid-September before they start dishing out the fines for non-completion.

Perhaps, just to be safe, they should consider extending that 'til Christmas?

Assuming we still have one that is...

Christmas cancelled by the Census?
Can I be yellow?

Dollie  (Person 2, currently employed, Religion = Nil))

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