Third Floor: Mobility Scooters... GOING UP!
"Take the bus maybe? Or get a taxi? Pensioners are usually eligible to get the discounted half-price rate, so that's a good thing. Or we could find out if your Council provides an Assisted Transport service... you know, to take you shopping and stuff?"
"Oh heavens, I hope it doesn't come to that, Dollie. Having to rely on others all the time and feeling like I'm a real pain in the bum to everyone - I couldn't stand it!"
"Well, you could get one of those nifty motorised scooter thingies... you see people roaring along the footpaths on them all the time. With a bright orange safety flag sticking up on the back - I could definitely see you with one of those, Rhonda!"
"Actually, I've already got a scooter... a bright red one! I've only used it a couple of times, you know, for practice I took it out to the big shopping centre... but I had a terrible time. And now I'm just SCARED of it!"
"Why, Rhonda? What on earth happened?"
"Well, I drove it into the lift, not really thinking. It was such a busy day and the lift was full of people with bags of shopping and a mum with her baby twins... in an enormous pram. BUT THEN I COULDN'T GET OUT!"
"Oh no! Didn't it have a reverse button on it?"
"Oh, Dollie it was awful! The stupid thing wouldn't go backwards! Instead I had them all in the lift trying to give me directions. Then they had to get out - to let me out... including the lady with the pram who wasn't happy! I tried doing a three-point turn... but managed to turn that into a TEN-point turn because I wasn't steering the dam thing right. In the end, the men had to grab a corner each and lift it out... WITH ME ON IT!
Oh, I could've died with the embarrassment, Dollie. Never again!"
(Mazda 323 Owner, Driver and Motorway Enthusiast)