Thursday, 15 September 2016

Rhonda's Red Racer

Third Floor: Mobility Scooters... GOING UP!

"Oh yes, Dollie...I still drive my car.  Been driving for over 40 years it must be.  I can't imagine what it will be like when I have to give it up though.  It really worries me in fact, so I'm not thinking about it 'til I have to.  I mean... what do other old people do when they need to get anywhere?"

"Take the bus maybe?  Or get a taxi?  Pensioners are usually eligible to get the discounted half-price rate, so that's a good thing.  Or we could find out if your Council provides an Assisted Transport service... you know, to take you shopping and stuff?"

"Oh heavens, I hope it doesn't come to that, Dollie.  Having to rely on others all the time and feeling like I'm a real pain in the bum to everyone - I couldn't stand it!"

"Well, you could get one of those nifty motorised scooter thingies... you see people roaring along the footpaths on them all the time.  With a bright orange safety flag sticking up on the back - I could definitely see you with one of those, Rhonda!"

"Actually, I've already got a scooter... a bright red one!  I've only used it a couple of times, you know, for practice I took it out to the big shopping centre... but I had a terrible time.  And now I'm just SCARED of it!"

"Why, Rhonda?  What on earth happened?"

"Well, I drove it into the lift, not really thinking.  It was such a busy day and the lift was full of people with bags of shopping and a mum with her baby twins... in an enormous pram.  BUT THEN I COULDN'T GET OUT!"

"Oh no!  Didn't it have a reverse button on it?"

"Oh, Dollie it was awful! The stupid thing wouldn't go backwards!  Instead I had them all in the lift trying to give me directions.  Then they had to get out - to let me out... including the lady with the pram who wasn't happy!  I tried doing a three-point turn... but managed to turn that into a TEN-point turn because I wasn't steering the dam thing right.  In the end, the men had to grab a corner each and lift it out... WITH ME ON IT!  

Oh, I could've died with the embarrassment, Dollie.  Never again!"

-  Mrs Rhonda Redlight, aged 88
(Mazda 323 Owner, Driver and Motorway Enthusiast)

Elderly and their Mobility Scooters


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