Tuesday, 20 December 2016

If I Get One More Pretty Glass Vase - I'LL SCREAM!

All I Want for Christmas is...

Coming up with the perfect Christmas gift for the elderly rellies in our lives, can be quite the headache.  
Year after year we take the easy way out and fob poor old Mum off with another crystal serving dish or a posh pair of pewter candlesticks.  
How 'bout this year, we put a smile on her dial and give her the thing she REALLY wants?

Let's face it, an aging parent or grandparent already has more 'stuff' than you can shake a stick of misteltoe at.  Their homes are filled with a lifetime worth of ornaments, mementos and nifty collectibles - all of varying worth and each one representing an important milestone or celebration of achievements.

And although we care, and we want to do our best for our housebound loved one, we still insist on fronting up on Christmas day and presenting them with yet another pricey piece of superbly-wrapped Royal Doulton or a fancy schmancy glass figurine (in a nice box).

Well, I'm sorry... BUT THAT'S JUST NOT TRYING!

Waiting in the queue at the post office recently, I managed to craftily listen in on two older ladies chatting in front of me.  Dolled-up beautifully in their red and green 'festive finest', it was a frank, but oddly inspiring convo; one that has given me a whole new angle on my gift-giving dangle this Christmas.

Ho-Ho-Hopefully, it might do the same for you!

"... and if they give me one more China plate on a stand - I'll scream!"

"Well, from my lot, it's flamin' smellies!  For goodness sake, my bathroom cupboard is chocker with perfumed soaps, bath salts and lotions galore.  If I lived to 150, I'd never use it all!"

"Oh, I knowwwww.  Course, it's the daughter-in-law I blame.  Feel like telling her, if you're gonna give me another pretty vase - at least come round and look at the thing with me!"

"And bring a big bunch of fresh gladdies to stick in it, while you're at it!."

"Yes, all very well dishing out the expensive crockery. All I want is a bit of company, a game of cards or just a good chin wag over a cuppa.  You know, something to break up the day?"

"Oh, yes... something to look forward to."

"My legs aren't going to hold out much longer... wish they'd get a wriggle on.  Typical post office."

"I thought your son was going to come and give you a hand?"

"Oh, I don't like to pester him.  He's so busy with the kids this time of year... and they've got a lot on.  I feel such a bother asking him to run me round."

"Nothing like being taken out in the car though, is there?  Honestly, going on a nice long drive would do me for Christmas - I'd be a pig in flamin' mud!"

"Oooo yes, stop off on the way... get afternoon tea somewhere..."

"Mmm fish 'n' chips on the beach?"


Taking elderly out for a drive
Giz  a chip, mate?

"You know, Maureen's daughter takes her to the pictures every Tuesday.  Half price, apparently.  Still, at least she gets an outing.  I'd swap that for one flamin' day of Christmas, in a flash!"

"Oh, I knowwww.  I'd love to go to that 'Carols in the Domain' thing this year.  You know, the sing-a-long in the park?"

"Oooo yes, love a good sing-a-long."

"But I can't do it on my own - I'm too wobbly!  I need Cheryl to take me but they've gone away up the lake for the holidays."

"Just give me a couple of bags of cat food... now that would save me a few bob.  I'd be fine with that.  Lucky and me could skip flamin' Christmas altogether then!"

"And you wouldn't have to find more space in the cabinet for another bunch of useless knick-knacks!"

"You know what we should do?  We should set up down the market... sell off all our prezzies to all the other suckers."

"Oooo yes!  Get Wilma to bring along the silver napkin rings and salt'n'pepper sets her family keep shoving on her..."

"... and Celia can wheel out all her ugly ceramic ducks - WE'D MAKE A FLAMIN' FORTUNE!"

At this stage the line started to move and the girls had trundled off for their turn with the teller. It was amusing to hear their candid thoughts on the crappy materialistic gifts of Christmas past.  But also a reality check, that maybe we could all put a bit more consideration into what we choose for our beloveds in the future.

Appreciating the little things, showing how much we enjoy their company.  Simply sharing a meal, or even just a good natter and a laugh over some boozy eggnog and a warm mince tart.

Bringing the kids round to decorate grandad's tree, or watching a funny movie together while you help write out great-aunt Betty's 2,387 Christmas cards.  Better still, turn the telly off and throw yourselves into a hearty game of Scrabble or Monopoly (if she can bear the arguments that is!)

Remind yourself that your treasured elder won't be around forever; better to spend the time you have creating experiences and making sweet or silly memories you can all cherish.

Something money will never buy.

'Tis the season to say "Bah, humbug!" to spending big dollars on superfluous dust-collecting frippery for our elderly relatives this festive season!

Seriously, it couldn't be more easy flamin' peasy.

All your dear ol' Mum ever really wants for Christmas is...



Elderly gfits for Christmas
Quackity, Quack? 



  1. Too true Dollie, too true. Somehow you always 'get it'. Amazing Dollie, downright amazing!!! Have a VERY merry Christmas - look forward to hearing from you again in the new year.

  2. Thanks! Hope you your Christmas involved plenty of family jollies....with minimum ceramic ducks xxx